There’s no shame in getting old. There’s only shame in getting ugly.

— Jack, Will & Grace

Something To Break Your Heart

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We are taking turns balancing a pineapple-shaped promotional stress toy on our heads. As with many of the tricks she has me perform, I am unsuccessful. The pineapple keeps sliding off. “Maybe it’s because you have hair,” she remarks. There’s no hint of self-pity. These are just the facts. Facts: She is six. I am thirty-four. She has cancer. I ...

Sometimes it is when I think I am happiest that I miss you the most.

Why I Stayed

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It shocks some people who don’t know me well, but I am a huge professional sports fan. MLB, NBA, NFL, and even NHL (at least during the playoffs) - I follow it all. Perhaps “follow” is not a strong enough term - I obsess. I keep up with the beat writers on Twitter. I participate ...

Two Years and Four Months Ago, In Medias Res

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Tuesday, April 3, 2012 I am driving to the hospital, and I am feeling guilty. Yesterday, I ignored a voicemail from an unknown number. My father suffered a ministroke on Sunday, and I couldn’t bother to listen to the message. It is his third hospitalization in a year. I arrive to a quiet room. My dad looks ...

Hunter and Gatherer

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I look at a fresh piece of paper. I open a new document. I stare and wait for the words to come flowing out of me. And I’m stuck, horribly, painfully stuck. I can’t pretend it doesn’t hurt and frighten me – the idea that I’ve lost the part about me I loved most and made ...

When I Was Under You

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Reposted out of nostalgia, not for the person but for my innocence. Part 1. Originally written May 26, 2002. "I love the way you walk." Startled, I looked at him. I have gotten used to the staring, but I am not sure his random comments will ever fail to surprise me. "What are you talking about?" I ...

Busted Tires and Broken Hearts

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A few years ago, the adage “bad things come in threes” was proven true in the most inconvenient way imaginable – three flat tires in the span of three weeks. Each incident was marked with a frantic phone call to my father, who dutifully rushed to my rescue. Watching him change my punctured wheel, I ...